Have Integrity

“The Magic of Quantum Leap Thinking™” Part 12: Have Integrity

In-te-gti-ty (in teg’ri te). 1. Soundness of moral principles and character; uprightness; honesty. 2. State of being whole or undiminished, a wholeness or unimpaired condition.

When architects refer to a building’s structural integrity, they are using the second definition. And I feel the same concept can be applied to human beings. The greater your integrity (using the first definition), the greater your completeness, wholeness and mental health.

Communicating with integrity means expressing yourself in accordance with your moral principles, your values.

YOU ARE THE REFLECTION OF YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS

Values are your personal, private and uniquely individual beliefs about what is important. They are the mental maps of the way you think things should be. They are your deepest convictions and when you betray them whether through lack of self-awareness or on purpose – you destroy the integrity of your personal architecture.

Take an integrated approach and regard your life as a system. When all the areas of your life are in balance, you resonate; you are in tune with yourself. Harmony is the closest word I can find to describe it, and when you are in harmony, Quantum Leaps take place naturally.

But how can you know when you have spoken or acted against your true values if you don’t know what they are? Understanding your personal value system will help you communicate more honestly. Understanding your value system will help you resonate with what you say and do.

Let’s get to it.

Quickly review the suggested list of values.  One or more will most likely resonate.  Circle the six or put a check by the ones that are most important to you.

There is usually one value which is most important, one core value, which drives all your choices. In order to determine which one that is, you’ll need to go through a unique questioning process. For the purpose of this example, I’ll use my six values I circled and take myself through the questioning process. Then, you do the same.

This process may be frustrating but you can do it!

Basically you are going to compare each value until you rate them in an order of importance.

My 6 most important values:
Love
Contribution
Freedom
Loyalty
Honesty
Integrity

To begin, I ask myself, “Is love more important than contribution?” (To me, love and contribution are closely linked but I must choose only one.) Love, to me, is more important than contribution.

Love now becomes primary comparison value to measure against the other 5 values.

Next I ask myself, “Is love more important to me than freedom?  Love is more important than freedom.

F.Y.I. In my past, I had assumed that freedom was my most important value.  In retrospect, I had made a few disastrous decisions based on what I thought to be true.

Next, “Is love more important to me than honesty?” Yes.

“Is love more important to me than integrity?” Yes.

“Is love more important than loyalty?” This was my most difficult choice.

I am fiercely loyal to my family and friends.  And I feel love and loyalty are closely linked. But, the rules for this exercise are: I must eliminate one of the two comparison values. The answer again is “yes.” Love is more important than loyalty.

Love is my number one core value. 

Next, I must  choose my second most important value.

I continure the process now using freedom.

Is freedom more important than loyalty? No. I can cross freedom out and switch values using loyalty as my next comparison value.

Is loyalty more important than contribution? Yes. Is loyalty more important than honesty? Yes.  Integrity? Yes.

I now know that loyalty is my number two core value.

I go through the same questioning process, using each value as a comparison value and fix a priority to all 6.  The result of my self-questioning allow me to rank my six core values in their order of importance to me.

1. Love
2. Loyalty
3. Contribution
4. Integrity
5. Honesty
6. Freedom

Now, do the same for yourself.

FYI: Until I did this exercise, I had been operating under the misconception that freedom was what I value most. I made a lot of dicey choices based on that assumption.  It is no mystery why I felt so restless, lonely, dissatisfied and unfulfilled when I had attained certain goals, however fleeting.

You may surprise yourself as well. When you finish your evaluation, write your core values in the order of their importance.

Do your words and actions reflect what you communicated are your highest values or have you communicated something else? Have you jeopardized the integrity of your personal architecture? When you do, the result can only be bleak.

Let’s say PERSON A’s number one value is ‘freedom’; PERSON B’s is ‘family.’ They fall in love, marry, and decide to have children. Person A makes a conscious decision to sacrifice freedom in order to raise a family, but, out of fear, never expresses the feeling. Let’s further suppose that A now feels trapped and unconsciously takes the frustration out on himself by drinking or – being angry or, worse – all because of poor communication and lack of awareness.

Both my father and my grandfather were perfect examples of communication with integrity. They’ve often said to me “Remember, you are your word. When you break your word, that’s not only what you do; it’s who you are.”

Keeping your word is mandatory to developing trust and communication whether you like it or not, you are often a model to the people around you. Yes, people do watch you. Therefore, in a sense, you become a reluctant leader. Some people will, negative or positive, good, or bad, follow your example.

Review your list.

If you’re comfortable with your decision, re-commit to and have the courage to view your life through your value structure.

When you choose, commit, reinforce, and act consistently from your true values, you live with harmony.

IMAGINE THAT!

James Mapes is a keynote speaker, best-selling author, coach and hypnotist. His most recent book IMAGINE THAT! Igniting Your Brain for Creativity and Peak Performance is the first web-supported book with access to 21 video-coaching clips.