If you are going to succeed in any business – in any arena – in todays competitive environment, you had better think out-of-the-box, embrace change and take some risk. That is exactly what the former Apple executive, Ron Johnson, has put into motion since he took over as CEO of J. C. Penney Co. last November.
Yes, they are cutting costs by cutting jobs but what else is new? What is unique is the idea of introducing three tiers of pricing in an anti-sales, permanent markdowns mentality that begins February 1st.
The point of any rebranding effort is to change the customer’s perception of a business. And never forget – perception is everything. For the retailer JC Penney, the rebranding is designed to make shopping easier and “treat the customers as we would like to be treated – fair and square.” says Ron Johnson. Thus it’s new “Fair and Square pricing philosophy.” Shades of Stew Leonard’s’ “The Customer Is Always Right” philosophy!
Adding into the mix, J. C. Penney has engaged one of television darlings, Ellen DeGeneres, as a brand ambassador. Penney will sell some of Martha Stewart products and fashion designer Nanette Lepore will create an exclusive line with the retailer. They have also created a new logo that expresses an enduring American brand by evoking the nation’s flag. That’s true creative thinking.
What impresses me most about Ron Johnson is that he is doing what I feel most executives fail to do. That is to ask the question: How are we going to reinforce our new brand and how are we going to continue to surprise and delight the customer? Ron Johnson has the future vision for the newly rebranded “jcpenney.”
Beginning in August, the newly rebranded jcpenney will begin a month-by-month, shop-by-shop strategy to update all stores with new and exciting merchandise and presentation. Two to three shops – dubbed “in-store boutiques” – will be installed monthly, each and every month, over a four-year transformation period. These initiatives will culminate in the complete transformation of jcpenney by the end of 2015.
So, if you are thinking about rebranding your business, you must challange your assumptions about everything you know, think out-of-the-box, take some major risks and envison a successful future by asking, “How am I going to continue to delight and surprise our customers?”

“If you can find a role in which you can play to your strengths most of the time, then everybody wins.”
-Marcus Buckingham, author, researcher and speaker

This particular article was prompted by two recent events – speaking to a very special organization and my wife telling me a story.
I presented four different programs to the sales and marketing team of the Merisant Company on the topics of paradigms, brainstorming, change, and leadership. The icing on the cake was having the privilege of working with and observing CEO, Paul Block in action.
In our first communication Paul wrote, “My personal style is to empower people to work in teams to find solutions, moreover, to work collectively, through a constructive dissention process and purpose. I am a big believer in the breakthrough thought process as a way to build and grow business.”
Paul’s unique, empowering and transformational leadership style inspired me, as did his ability to set aside his ego, ask questions, listen and teach. When Harvard Business School professor and expert on business strategy, leadership and change, Rosabeth Moss Kantor wrote, “Leaders are more powerful role models when they learn than when they teach,” she could have been referring to Paul Block.
Working with his team was both a privilege and a learning experience. It also cemented my thinking on the importance of guiding individual team members to play to their strengths, create ownership by collectively crafting a vision as well as clearly defining the responsibility that goes with being empowered.
The second event was my wife Susan’s relating the following story. This is a wonderful example of how a true leader in any walk of life can spark passion, explode creativity and gain commitment of team members by having them play to their strengths, encourage cooperation and lead by vision.

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”
-Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher, 6th Century B.C.

“ When I was studying American History at the John Thomas Dye School in Los Angeles, our teacher, Mr. Charles Weld, found an ingenious way to help us understand the various battles of the Revolutionary War. He divided us into teams in order to explore different aspects, according to our strengths and abilities. My assignment was to write a detailed Soldier’s Journal – for which my artistic friend Maria contributed the drawings. A couple of our clothes-loving classmates researched the uniforms, flags and insignias, while the boys in the class constructed a scale-model of the rough terrain on a Ping-Pong table and then moved tiny soldiers into various strategic positions, illustrating the different skirmishes. We then proudly presented our project at a school assembly – and retained far more knowledge than if we had simply read from a text and taken an exam.
As I look back on it today, I realize that there was no competition and everyone wanted the project to be as good as it could be.”

This story of my wife’s experience at John Thomas Dye School sparked something in me once again about building exceptional teams. For those of you who did not read last month’s article, I use the model of making movies as the metaphor for building business teams.
Of course, the success of any team begins at the beginning with the leader and as the American management guru and best-selling author, Tom Peters writes, “Leaders are not always the best performers. Leaders get their kicks from orchestrating the work of others – not doing it themselves.”
In order to mold a superior team, a leader must carefully choose the most talented people – those that have strong strengths in their area of expertise. In the best of all worlds, the leader motivates and empowers his team to contribute to the organizational vision, makes sure each member of the team has a clear understanding of their role, brings the vision to reality, provides the team with the resources to get the job done, trusts his team to do what they do best and then – gets out of their way and lets them surprise and delight.
What this means in terms of success in making a successful movie is that the director chooses the very best team members right from the beginning, starting with the best screenwriter for the project. It is expected that each member of the team will embrace the vision of the director and EVERYTHING that happens, EVERY decision made by the team serves that vision. This ranges from the production design and choice of costumes to the improvisational abilities, flexibility and insight of the actors.
Constant and consistent communication between all department heads including costumes, makeup, lighting, sets and the director is a must. An exceptional film director not only surrounds him or herself with talented people, but also asks for their input and then listens – really listens.
Even with all pieces in place, there is no guarantee that filming goes smoothly. Events happen very quickly between “Quiet on the set!” and “Cut!” Therefore the crew must be flexible, nimble, quick and able to deal with adversity.
A film crew is trusted and empowered to do their job and they are accountable for their actions. This is where a well-organized, informed, passionate and talented team shines. Everyone pulls in the same direction and everyone must be on the same page.
An outstanding film director is no different than a superior CEO. The CEO who chooses the best team members, has a strong vision, clear goals, excellent communication skills (including listening skills) and empowers them to play to their strengths – will be an exceptional CEO.
Everything radiates from the passion of a leader. A leader who encourages competition among his people lays the groundwork for anger, jealousy and envy, setting up a battlefield instead of a playing field. On the other hand, a leader who champions cooperation and guides the team to play to their individual strengths, as did Susan’s teacher in the John Thomas Dye School, creates an environment that will foster out-of-the-box thinking and innovation.
I usually end my articles with a series of action steps. This time, I am going to list Merisant’s Core Values, the guiding principles behind all their decisions. To me, they are universal Quantum Leap values. Incorporate these values into your life strategy and you will live an exceptional life as well as be an exceptional leader.
1. ENTHUSIASM: Maintain an upbeat demeanor and high energy to inspire others to achieve their goals and both create and contribute to an atmosphere that encourages fellow employees to enjoy their work.
2. PROFESSIONALISM: Maintain a consistently high level of integrity and honesty and treat all co-workers with respect and dignity in all forms of interaction.
3. FLEXIBIITY: Plan ahead in a logical, methodical fashion, allowing for the timely execution of plans and projects, adapting well and quickly to changing business conditions and goals.
4. TEAMWORK: Work collaboratively and interact constructively with team members to achieve team goal.
5. COMMUNICATION: Listen carefully and respect other points of view, be receptive to constructive criticism and respond promptly, calmly and constructively to change.

I have always been concerned – more so lately – about the dog-eat-dog, kill or be killed, Darwinian survival mindset of business leaders today. I don’t mean to imply that I believe all competition is bad. It has its place and, when properly managed, can act as an accelerant to building strong teams.
My concern is that leaders often do not draw a clear distinction between internal and external competition because they subconsciously let their personal competitive mindset color their thinking. When this happens, the fear-based virus of the competitive mindset, like a plague, infects the spirit of teamwork and kills creativity and innovation in all areas of a business. Why? Because when competition is encouraged in the work environment, it is natural to win at the expense of others losing. That is not an effective way to think when the desire is to have strong, committed team. What would happen in every member of a sports time focused on trying to defeat their fellow team member?
Alfie Cohn writes in his insight book No Contest: “Competition is to self-esteem as sugar is to teeth. It is a breeding ground for hostility.” In other words, it creates fear and that fear, as Peter Druker, the world’s foremost management thought leader, argues in his book, Shaping the Management Mind: “fear generates hostility toward innovation, produces resistance to change, and is incompatible with knowledge work.” This includes fear of communicating openly and fear of communicating openly and candidly is the silent killer of organizational performance.
There must be a paradigm shift if American business is going to be successful player in the global economy. If the leader demands and expects cooperation, his people taking responsibility and acting because their empowered, open dialogue, trust, risk taking and personal ownership of an organizational vision, then fear must be eliminated and competition kept focused on competitors by creating the correct reward system..
There must be a paradigm shift if American business is going to be successful player in the global economy. If the leader demands and expects cooperation, open dialogue, risk taking and personal ownership of an organizational vision, then internal fear must be eliminated and competition kept focused on competitors.
This blog was inspired by the open-minded, cutting edge and out of the box thinker – Paul Block of Merisant. I just got home from presenting a keynote and three breakouts for his sales and marketing team. You will be reading more about him in my future articles and blogs.

I just recently returned from visiting on the set of the new Tom Cruise movie ONE SHOT being filmed in Pittsburgh, Pa. It was an educational and enlightening experience on many levels and reminded me of the incredible leadership and teamwork it takes to make a movie. In fact, making a film serves as the most potent metaphor I know for both leadership and teamwork. From the outside, a motion picture set appears to be controlled chaos but when the curtain is pulled aside, it is anything but.
Like any successful organization, it all starts with the leadership. The vision, the energy, the drive and the commitment or lack thereof, will always flow from leadership. In the case of ONE SHOT, the energy and direction stems from three sources. The first is the producer, Don Granger. He began working on this project years ago and through persistence, created the playing field. He secured the rights from the best-selling author Lee Child and convinced Lee to let him pursue creating a film from his book. Don is also the one who assembled the creative team and manages the budget – and he is brilliant at his job.
Don then brought aboard Oscar-winning writer/director, Christopher McQuarrie and secured Tom Cruise as the lead. This team is magnificent to watch. Tom’s incredible energy and generosity as an actor ignites the entire cast and crew for hours on end. Chris’s excellent direction guides and inspire the actors to excellence.
It really was an inspiring site to behold. Even I came away with an infusion of creative energy.

Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts. —Salman Rushdie

Stories are the creative conversion of life itself into a more powerful, clearer, more meaningful experience. They are the currency of human contact. — Robert McKee

When it comes to communication, the story is everything. Whether it’s selling, leading, managing, teaching or preaching, the power of story is the power of change. I would like to tell you one of my all-time favorite stories, a story that represents a change in my perceptions and, therefore, my reality.
In 1996, quite by accident, when I was 51, I found out that my father had adopted me when I was three years old. That discovery turned my world upside down.
My younger brother, Dave, and his two grown sons were helping my parents move out of our family home in Illinois. My nephews were carrying a chest of drawers down the front porch steps when they lost their grip and a drawer slid out.
Under an old, tattered piece of cardboard was a photo of my mother in what looked like a wedding ceremony with a stranger. Thinking that it was some kind of a Halloween prank, they took the picture back in the house and placed it on a chair. Passing by the chair, Dave picked it up, examined the photo and immediately sought out my father, a calm and peaceful soul. Holding out the photo, Dave demanded, “What does this mean?”
With a glance, my father nonchalantly replied, “I adopted James when he was three years old.” Bordering on hysteria, my brother continued, “Does he know?”
“No,” my father replied. “Neither of you were ever supposed to know.”
“Well, you have to tell him,” Dave shot back.”
“I don’t want to tell him; you tell him,” retorted my father. So they worked out a plan. I would be doing a lecture in Milwaukee and they would meet me at the hotel for dinner.
Over dinner, we caught up and shared our most recent happenings. It was a delight to be with them. Then we went up to my suite. As I sat in a large, overstuffed chair, my father and brother stood. They were staring at me in an odd way. It was a strange moment. My brother suddenly announced, “There are skeletons in our closet!”
Knowing my brother’s extraordinary sense of humor and seeking a punch line, I asked, “How many?”
“Just one,” he replied.
There was an awkward silence as I looked from one to the other with what must have been utter stupefaction. Suddenly, my father, who is terribly uncomfortable with intimacy, quietly declared, “I adopted you when you were three years old.”
What a bizarre moment. It didn’t register; it did register. My mind became a 20-ring circus. I felt my reality tilt. A wave of conflicting emotions churned through me. It was then that my father, a man of few words, did something he has never done before. He lovingly put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes and said, “I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.” That was the closest he had ever come to saying, “I love you.” And – that’s exactly what I heard.
It was in that millisecond that I realized I had two choices. One was to be angry and resentful; the other to feel honored and loved. I felt tears well up. It was in that moment that I chose to forgive – instantly. Since then, our relationship has soared. The lie and an unspoken barrier no longer existed between us.
I’ve never forgotten that moment or the lesson of love and forgiveness. That awareness has affected me in the most positive way – in all aspects of my life.
Consider this: if I wanted to teach a lesson about love and forgiveness, what would create a more powerful result – relating this story or simply saying to someone, “Holding on to resentment and anger is harmful and will only hurt you.”?
There is no contest. It’s the story that makes the difference. Stories captivate. Metaphor illuminates. Stories with lessons shift our thinking because they draw upon the power of the imagination.
This tale happens to be about love and forgiveness. But there are limitless stories that can illuminate and teach in every area of life – personal and business.
You, as a parent, friend, lover, spouse, business person, community organizer have limitless opportunities to tell a story. In fact, your success in life both personally and professionaly – mentally, spiritually, emotionally or socially – depends on the power of the story you tell to move others. Think about all the stories you tell throughout the day. You tell and hear stories of complaint, success, horror or healing all the time. Those stories influence others as stories influence you. Stories that are vivid in detail and charged with emotion have the ability to impact and influence.
Why are emotional based stories so powerful? As I present in my program – IMAGINE THAT! – stories are impactful because you and I think in pictures and images, because the subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between a real or imagined experience and because it is in our DNA to have empathy and respond to emotion.
The more rounded and full a story, the more impact it has. Human beings have been communicating with each other through storytelling since we lived in caves and sat around campfires exchanging tales. Stories help us make sense of a world that often defies logic. Stories move us to action.
There are long stories like those that propel movies, documentaries and novels. They not only entertain but also provide insight and teach valuable lessons. That can help us lead a more vibrant, engaging, fun and productive life.
There are television series designed to divert and entertain, channels like Nature, Nova and PBS which educate. There are news broadcasts that are an accumulation of quick stories, hopefully to inform.
Then there are the stories called ‘parables.’ A parable is a short, fictitious narrative about something which might really occur in life – from which a moral is drawn. I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to turn Dr. Spencer Johnson’s “Peak and Valleys” parable into a live presentation which both entertained and taught how to ride the “ups and downs” of life. There are Aesop’s Fables and the Grimm Brothers’ fairy tales. The Bible is chock full of parables that teach lessons.
Think about the stories you tell every day and the impact they have on others. When you complain, gossip or talk negatively about yourself or others, you are affecting other people’s perceptions in a way that you may not want to. When you tell stories that are positive and moving, you shape other’s perceptions in a meaningful way. You can make a difference by the way you tell stories. Two books I recommend are: “The Power of Personal Storytelling” by Jack Maguire and “The Power of Story: Rewrite Your Destiny in Business and in Life” by Jim Loehr.
The inherent value in storytelling is currently being rediscovered because of new studies of the brain. Brain science shows that without a doubt the stories we tell ourselves and others have a powerful impact on our perceptions and the choices we make. The power of story can create change for the better. I feel it will be a key ingredient in education, training, selling, innovation and managing communication.
If you want to move others to action and/or teach a lesson, help others shift their thinking and gain insight, take the time to craft your story.
Here are six tips to help you become a good storyteller:
1) Study stories and how they work.
2) Choose the lesson you want to teach or be clear on the point you want to make.
3) Create or find a story that clearly makes the point.
4) Write your story out to help you clarify it.
5) Be sure your story is rich in color and detail and is charged with emotion.
6) Craft your story so it appeals to the heart as well as the intellect.
In a world of quick sound bites and MTV-thinking, there is still no faster or effective way to make a major difference in your communication than by telling a good story. If you want to live an exceptional life, learn to become an exceptional storyteller.

After presenting my program – IMAGINE THAT! to a sales team from a major pharmaceutical company, my wife and I were asked to join them for dinner. After some wonderful dialogue about the program, my wife asked the eight people in attendance question. I have to preface this by saying that my wife is a movie critic and knows absolutely nothing about the art of selling. She is also a very curious person who is always on the lookout to learn something new. The question posed to each member at the table: “What do you think is most important element about selling?”
There was a beat where I could witness each person looking inwards to find his or her best answer. The answers to my wife’s questions were: transparency, uncovering the problem, empathy, establishing rapport and identifying the difference between similar products. Interestingly enough, no one said “closing the sale” or “persistence” or “cold calling.”
The answers, insightfully given, made me think that a great sales training course might be based on simply asking each of the top sales people in a company that same question, choosing 7-10 of the best ideas and – creating the program.

A few days ago I had the privilege of presenting the keynote speech “Imagine That! Influencing the Elephant” to the Direct Marketing Association Nonprofit Federation at the New York Sheraton in Manhattan. The experience was renewing on a number of levels, first of which was the audience. Here were 500 conference participants representing well over 150 organizations – ranging from the American Heart Association, Save the Children, and The Mayo Clinic to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Every attendee does what he or she does – from the heart. They are directly involved in raising fundraising.

10/4/11
After presenting my program – IMAINGE THAT! to a sales team from a major pharmaceutical company, my wife and I were asked to join them for dinner. After some wonderful dialogue about the program, my wife asked the eight people in attendance question. I have to preface this by saying that my wife is a movie critic and knows absolutely nothing about the art of selling. She is also a very curious person who is always on the lookout to learn something new. The question posed to each member at the table: “What do you think is most important element about selling?”
There was a beat where I could witness each person looking inwards to find his or her best answer. The answers to my wife’s questions were: transparency, uncovering the problem, empathy, establishing rapport and identifying the difference between similar products. Interestingly enough, no one said “closing the sale” or “persistence” or “cold calling.”
The answers insightful given made me think that a great sales training course might be based on simply asking each of the top sales people in a company that same question, choosing 7-10 of the best ideas and – creating the program.

“The great gift of human beings is
that we have the power of empathy.”
Meryl Streep, American actress

You have the capability to improve your relationships, ramp up your ability to learn and increase the quality of your overall experience of life.
Does this sound like the beginning of a typical positive thinking “self-help” book?
How about this: You have an ability that is so very close to mind-reading that when you understand and apply these strategies, you will absolutely open up new possibilities for your life.
Have you ever wondered why you, or other sports fans, get so emotionally involved when watching a sporting event? Isn’t it kind of odd that the fans of baseball, football, soccer or tennis will yell, scream, boo, tense up, wince or leap up out of their seats when watching a sport event unfold, even when watching it on the television? The observers seem to be in sync or empathic with something or someone that is not only far removed from their social sphere but on an intimate, personal level, totally isolated from their daily lives.
Why is this reaction to sports any different from someone watching an engaging scene in a movie and laughing, crying or flinching in horror? Or, what about when a person who is watching a television or a feature film where a large, ugly spider is crawling up someone’s bare leg and the observer of the event cringes in repulsion, fear or actually feels a creepy physical sensation?
How about the visceral negative reaction of social pain or rejection by simple observation? Many experience this when watching one individual move his/her hand forward to caress his/her partner and then – the partner angrily pushes the hand away.
All these scenarios and many others are triggered by what neurologists have labeled “mirror neurons.” Mirror neurons were first described in 1992. Research based on studies using monkeys as subjects was published in 1996 and revealed something quite exceptional. Scientists were surprised to discover that these specific mirror neurons fired whether a monkey actually ate a peanut, banana or raisin – or – simply observed another monkey, or even a human, performing the same act. The neuron “mirrors” the behavior of the other, as though the observer were itself acting! In a very real sense, they analyze scenes and read minds.
Further scientific discoveries using humans have absolutely “flabbergasted” researchers. Humans not only have mirror neurons, they have mirror neurons that are much smarter, more flexible and more highly evolved than those found in monkeys.
Susan Blakeslee writes in her article, Cells That Read Minds: “The human brain has multiple mirror neuron systems that specialize in carrying out and understanding not just the actions of others but their intentions, the social meaning of their behavior and their emotions.”
Neuroscientist Giacorno Rizzolatti, one of the original “monkey” researchers, observed: “We are exquisitely social creatures. Our survival depends on understanding the actions, intentions and emotions of others…Mirror neurons allow us to grasp the minds of others not through conceptual reasoning but through direct simulation.”
That means we accomplish miraculous interpretation by feeling, not thinking. That is “empathy” in action. By extrapolating a few of major points from these studies, you will see why this may be very important to you and to those around you.
First, understand that there is something special about humans that allow us to connect very deeply when we watch other people play a sport, move, touch, be intimate or when we observe their expressions.
Second, the research derived from studying mirror neurons strongly suggests that your mind cannot tell the difference between seeing or doing. In other words – watching someone do something with which you identify is almost the same as doing it yourself.
Third, the discovery of mirror neurons indicates that we are not only linked to other people’s actions but also to other people’s feelings and, therefore, we are able to adopt another person’s point-of-view. Empathy is one of the keys to successful relationships.
Last, and perhaps most important, all the research combined reveals how children learn, why watching violence on television or film may be harmful and why people respond with strong emotions to specific types of dance, music, art and sports. Children are hardwired for imitation.
Here are four strategies to help you live an exceptional life:
1. CHOOSE THE COMPANY YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN KEEP – CAREFULLY.
Those around you always influence and have an effect on your state-of-mind and feelings. The fact is: part of your brain models the behavior and possibly even the thoughts of those around you. Perhaps this is a good time for you to do a quick and honest inventory of your friends, acquaintances and business associates. Do they inspire and recharge you – or deplete and frustrate you? The reality is that you may need to make some new and tough choices about the people you surround yourself with.
If you have young children, do a psychological check on their friends and the people surrounding them. You may not be able to control everybody who comes in contact with your child but you do have a great deal of control as to what activities they attend or whom they spend time with.
2. MODEL EXCELLENCE.
Brain science studies leave no doubt that we, as humans, model and internalize the behavior of others. So doesn’t it make sense to model and learn from the best and the brightest? Consider taking the time to review your goals and pinpoint your passion. What engages you and sparks your creativity? Once you have identified your passion, you can explore and seek out those who have already successfully achieved what you wish to achieve. You will be pleasantly surprised how much you can learn about their habits, their thinking and how they manage their time. Professional athletes and coaches have taken advantage of this built-in brain skill for years by using mental practice and imagery. You can too.
3. BECOME AWARE OF HOW YOU SEE YOUR FUTURE UNFOLDING.
The same mirror neurons fire whether you perform an action or task, watch someone else perform an action or task, or simply “imagine” performing an action or task. This mind-bending discovery opens up endless possibilities for you to apply your imagination. What, specifically, do you imagine happening in your future? What are your goals and expectations? Is your imagined future positive or negative? Will you achieve success or succumb to failure?
4. APPLY YOUR IMAGINATION IN A PROACTIVE, POSITIVE AND CONSTRUCTIVE WAY.
Choose one specific goal you want to accomplish. Create a realistic, clear, emotionally-based “mental movie” or “visualization” of your goal “as if” it has already occurred – successfully. It is your success movie of the future that will impact your subconscious to take the actions necessary to make it happen. Visualize your success movie for 1-3 minutes a day for 30 days.
Your brain is equipped for success. Reread this article, follow these four strategies and you will live an exceptional life.

“All emotions are pure which gather you and lift you up;
that emotion is impure which seizes only
one side of your being and so distorts you.”
Rainer Maria Rilke, (1875-1926), Bohemian-Austrian poet

What do all these events have in common? 1) Road rage, 2) Getting a tattoo in a moment of excitement, 4) Blowing your top and shouting verbal abuse or threats at your boss, spouse, child or partner, 5) The momentary passion of having an affair outside of your marriage or relationship, 6) Borrowing money to buy a home or other material position that you could not possible repay, 7) Tweeting a picture of yourself in a provocative way or “sexting,” as it has become known by today’s youth.
All of these actions have a high potential for regret, disappointment and often – much worse. All are driven in the heat of the moment by our emotions, and all have not been well thought out.
Psychologists have always operated on the principle that we are fairly rational human beings. In fact, so have most self-help authors and workshop leaders. The thinking is based on a false assumption: that if we say a few positive affirmations to ourselves and “think positive,” all will be well.
I’m not suggesting for one moment that affirmations and positive thinking don’t have their place, but I am strongly suggesting that human beings are not necessarily rational creatures. In fact, brain sciences have given us a glimpse into many previously dark corners of consciousness. There are often hidden biases, fear-based beliefs, memories and negative self-images that prompt us to act in an irrational way.
Yet, of all these underlying subconscious forces, there is one that simply boggles the mind: that so many people make so many really dumb, self-destructive, selfish or just plain unwise choices. They were either prompted to act on a powerful momentary emotion or feeling, or they were blinded by fear. I have heard the phrase: “acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming.”
Here’s how it happens. First, an event takes place. Perhaps it’s at the urging of an influential person, or someone makes an unsavory remark to you, bumps into you, cuts you off while driving, takes advantage of you, or entices you to act with the promise of pleasure. Next, that event triggers a thought such as, “I’ll be rewarded if I do this.” Or “I’ll attack and get even.” Or “I’ll be right.” Or “I’ll be cool and, therefore, accepted by my friends or peers.” Or “I’ll beat the system.” Or “I’ll be promoted.”
Thirdly, the thought triggers an emotion, and the brain is instantly excited by a complex chemical response. You might become frightened, helpless, angry, confused or excited. Now, here is where it gets challenging. The EVENT did not cause the emotional response. It is a distant memory of some similar situation, suddenly translated and re-lived in the present. It will always be a memory of an event that took place in the past which prompted fear, embarrassment, pleasure or some other intense emotion. Our past experiences do exert a great influence on the subconscious level.
Lastly, an action is taken. It is here that one of two paths is chosen. One is dumb and the other is smart. The really dumb thing is to act in the passion of the moment with no regard for future consequences. The alternative is to make a rational choice without being swayed by the heat of the moment. The reality is that most people act out of an emotion and are the cause of their own misery. Calling your boss names, attempting to force someone off the road with your car, having an affair or living beyond your means, holds the potential of doom.
I am certainly not saying that all emotions and feelings are destructive or bad. We need them to guide us through life and to help us learn. Being positive and enthusiastic, passionate about what you do and courageous about doing it often leads to a very positive outcome. Nor am I saying that the event that triggers fearful emotions is our fault. What I am suggesting is that we do have choice in our actions.
The lesson we can learn is to become instantly aware when we are experiencing an emotion that might trigger us to act stupidly – and to STOP – then REFRAME our thinking. We can either let events dictate our negative choices, or we can control our choices by taking rational action. We can let our impassioned, negative emotions hijack our behavior, or we can learn a defensive skill, just like an expert in Aikido.
Is it easy? No. Can the skill be learned? Absolutely. I can say this with certainty because I’ve taught dozens of clients to do just that. When they are confronted with powerful negative emotions and thoughts, they – STOP – REFRAME and – then make a more empowering choice.
If you are serious about wanting to make the right choices in the heat of an emotional moment, here is a tip that will help you live an exceptional life. Look at this as a two-week experiment.
Use a journal which could be a notebook or computer. Write the following on the first page of your journal:

“Whenever I feel the powerful emotions of blame, self-pity, fear, anger, or have negative judgmental thoughts about myself or others, when I blame myself or others, or whenever I doubt myself or feel guilt or fear – I will be aware of my thinking. Whenever I feel like I’m deceiving or taking advantage of another person, or when I feel as though I’m getting even with someone for a perceived injustice, I will STOP! TAKE A BREATH, OBSERVE MY THOUGHTS and say to myself, “Isn’t that interesting?” I will immediately let all negative pictures, images and emotions go, return to the present and reframe my thinking to the most positive and healing thoughts possible.”

At the beginning of your day- every day for 2 weeks – write the date and then the phrase, “Isn’t that interesting?” This simple statement will act as a kind of “programming,” take root in your subconscious and trigger you to use the STOP! method whenever you need it. It will also prompt you to become instantly aware and bring to consciousness when your emotions are about to lead you down the path of doing something stupid or destructive.
Keep in mind that the quality of your life determines the quality of your actions. The quality of your actions is triggered by your emotions and that determines the quality of your life.

Peter: Talk to me about mental movies.

James: I’d like people to understand that we always create mental movies in our head. If you look at what you’re doing for dinner tonight or what your plans are for tomorrow or what you’d like to do in the future or a goal, you’re creating a script. That script, the mental movies, is the way the primitive brain works on the elephant level.

So when we create mental movies, in essence we’re unleashing the imagination to move us towards the mental movie. There’s a couple of rules about that. One, the subconscious of the elephant can’t hear a negative suggestion. Don’t think of pink elephants. I’m just kidding. 

Be careful when you cross the street you might be hit by a car. That’s a terrible suggestion.

Don’t fail. That’s a terrible suggestion.

Because what you always want to create a mental movie that leads you where you want to go or someone else where you want them to go, not where you don’t want them to go. Mental movies is how we create our life, our experience.

When people taste the lemon they’re creating their experience, correct?

Peter: Right.

James: Right out of their focus. So how we mentally visualize is creating our experience.

If I sit here and think of something that happened from my past that’s horrible, I get depressed. I’m creating my experience and I’m responsible and accountable for that. If I look at something that I passionately want to do in the future and convey that passion to you, I’m not only creating my experience, I’m helping create your experience. The way the mind works is we will move in the direction of what we think. We can go back to all the Zig Ziglers and the wonderful people who would have helped me over the years, psycho-cybernetics says a lot about this, except now that it’s all based in brain science.

Peter: When we talked about true leadership and the neuroscience of affective leaders and we talked about the fact that you have to write down a mission statement and you set these goals and they’re measurable and there’s ways that you can track your progress; with imagination, how do you establish any kind of metrics around creativity?

James: The metrics, you go back to if you’re imagining a goal then you measure the goal. When you form a mental movie, you are essentially one making the invisible visible. What do I mean by that?

If I said to you, make a mental movie about picturing a bunch of blonde people walking around. Picture those that have blonde hair glinting and then I have you walk out in Rockefeller Center with the mindset of a blonde person, who are you going to notice first? You’re going to notice blonde people.

You just have to take that metaphor to any stage you want from customer service to forming pictures and image of what that means, to establishing a goal and all of a sudden, you’re going to… the law of attraction sounds metaphysical, right? But it isn’t; it’s based on neuroscience. You’re going to start to see what you imagine.

One of the exercises I do in my talks is I have everybody look around the room and notice everyone who is wearing red or maroon or orange. I have the entire group, maybe 200 people, 500 people or 1,000 people close their eyes. I say now, raise your hand if you can remember the general direction or the article of clothing of the people wearing red, maroon or orange. All the hands go up. I say open your eyes. Look at all the hands. Close your eyes. Now I want you to raise your hands if you can remember the direction of the article of clothing of all the people wearing green. Open your eyes – 2 or 3 hands out of 500 are up. Isn’t that interesting?

What you’ve just done through the imagination is you made the invisible, visible and the visible, invisible. Does that make sense?

Peter: Absolutely.

James: Why shouldn’t it work any different in hiring people and interviewing people.

Peter: Right.

James: Why should it make any difference of the people you hire? Of course, if you have your mindset and your clarity about the type of person you want on board that’s enthusiasm, that has all these attributes, you’re going to start attracting the right people in your life. If you want to get a little further about this, hey your listeners can look around at the people in their lives and ask the question, “whoa, I don’t want that person in my life, why are they there?”

Peter: Right.

James: Because you chose them. Why did you choose them? What do you need? It’s going back to fear, which is part of the Imagine That, is what’s the payoff for having fear or any fear? There’s always a payoff. Who or what do I get to avoid? Who or what don’t I get to have? When you start to look at the essence of it, that’s pretty powerful stuff and then you recraft your imagination. You use the power of the imagination to reframe your thinking and then you have to do certain things.

This just doesn’t happen by thinking about this once; you do have to do affirmations. All the people that come to see me create that picture image mental movie of what they want and then I teach them a deep relaxation visualization. They do this twice a day, 10 minutes a day and there has never been a time – and this is a brash statement to say from somebody who’s been in the business this long but I will say, there’s always a positive result. There can’t be because that’s the way the brain works.

Peter: Wrapping up here, James, what can we take away from this conversation to help us really make our imaginations more productive on a daily basis?

James: I would start by a little self reflection. Self reflection is, start to be aware. Awareness is the key to all this, and it’s not something that we usually do because the world moves too fast.

Start to be aware without judging of the kind of view that we have of people. Are we positive? Are we negative? I’m not saying negative is wrong; we could talk about that too because sometimes it’s okay.

Secondly, start to use “isn’t that interesting?” Play with it. Write it down right now as you’re listening “isn’t that interesting” and for the next day, use that to become aware of any negative thought and you’ll know if it’s negative because your body is going to feel crummy. You’re going to feel a weight in your chest. You’re going to feel this. You’re going to feel anxious. You’re going to feel stressed. The imagination can control stress, too.

Take “isn’t that interesting” and stop for a moment and reframe the thought. And what that means is if I catch myself with a negative thought there’s always a picture and an image attached to it. Just take a moment and reframe it in a positive thought. Recreate the mental movie and play and act as if. It’s a childlike ability that I ask people to do with this because you have to become a child. Using the imagination is about you.

Try the gratefulness exercise. Before you go to bed, write down 3 things for what you’re grateful, circle one in the morning. Do it for a week if you don’t want to do it for a month. Those things immediately will start to have you reframe your mental movies and pictures and start to harness the imagination.

Peter: That’s really interesting.

James: Imagine that!

Peter: Imagine that. James, thank you so much for speaking with us here on TotalPicture Radio. This has been a very interesting and enlightening conversation.

James: All my great pleasure, Peter. Thank you for having me.

Peter: Thanks.

We’ve been speaking with James Mapes. You can contact James through his website JamesMapes.com. We welcome your comments on our interview today. You’ll find this podcast in the Leadership Channel of TotalPicture Radio; that’s TotalPicture.com.